i thought it ok, but in all honesty it wasn't but God only knows that one. the situation was what it was, as fucked up as evrything is, i wanna know the truth, but at the sme time i don't. in my own lil fucked up way i still loved that person, sometimes i still do, but i can't let myself fall again. not for their touch, warmth, jus evrything. i wanted love and i guess i got it, but it came around and bit me on my ass, and know it haunts me. and that jsu makes things a whole lot worse. i jus wanna know was it real. love, or what i had thought to be love we shared, was it real or jus something I thought was real? shit if you can fake emotions like that, then dammit u deserve an oscar, b/c i would never ever had thought w/in the past couple years i was being fed bullshit. see, that's the thing i don't get if ur so real, and ur not about playin' games.......nevamind. i won't go there. i have a lot to deal with in the next coming months. i jus hope i can deal.

stupid ass horoscope and it fuckin' w/ mi life....


Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, July 30:

An old relationship that you thought had burned out comes back to life in a surprising way. It just goes to show that you should never write someone off completely. There's a rich vein to be mined here.


how the hell does a bloddy horoscope read me like a freakin book!!!!! could this be a fucking coinsedense (sp?)

well on the 27th I turned 20 yrs young. and I had fun, at least what i could make of it. oh and I've been on myspace alot, and haven't really posted on here, but I'm still here, but n e way. life's still gettin' me w/ a 2 piece and a biscut, but I'm dealing. i swear being emotional is a bitch, ya have feelings for one person then u start gettin feeligns for another, I'm freaking sick and tired of this emotional roller coaster.

with that being said as I look back on the past few years of my life, I have been thru some shit, and have dealt w/ it. I jus hope that i can remain strong, and handle the shit that's ready to come. as far as why theh ell it took 20 yrs to realize certain things and events in my life has happened, who knows, but all i know now is with the shit that has happened, I wouldn't be where i am today if i didn't go thru them.

hey wassup bsb fans just wanted to know anyone remember a post about a prepaid debit card, and it had like all ur fav. bands on the card, including a bsb one?, but uh if anyone can give me the link I'd really appreciate it. thanks
ktbspa!!!!

I FEEL LIKE CRAP!!!!!!

ok, so here it is april of 2006, and i still don't know what to do w/ all that's going on in mi life. as far as where do i go, what to do, etc.

so lately i been thinkin bout what I'm gon' do. thing is, i need some hot damn money, so i figure I'll prolly get a job.....if i can find one.lol

four months go by quickly i see. damn, it's finally spring, memories haunting, yet most are plesant. before u know it it'll be summer, and then winter and it'll be 2007......yay.

boyfriend's are cute, 'specially when they're asleep and they have the off to dreamland look on thier face. sometimes u don't realize jus how much someone else moves you, or how beautiful they are.

so college is a trip. might take time off, fuck what evrybody else think. i don't see why the hell i gotta go thru crap, wastin time , energy & money when I still got shit to figure out. but n e way, in the past 2 yrs, I have changed, matured, and grown, all for the better...yay!!!!, but honestly I'm mucho glad I did cuz Lord knows where i would have been, if i would have been happy or not or whatev. but yeah, I'll update eventually, been busy, oh yeah, check me out on myspace, fyi, peace & love